Practice

 
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Mediation

In mediation, the clients work out the parenting plan and financial agreements (child support, maintenance, property and debt settlement).  At the end of the process, I send them to one (or two) attorneys to enter the agreements in Court, often for a pre-agreed flat fee.  This is by far the least expensive process, especially when the clients are able to enter their own financial data into the free software.  Even after one parent has filed in Court, they find that their “day in court” is not what they expected, and they put the case on inactive status while they mediate the entire case and file agreed-on Judgments.   This process is especially important for special needs kids and for other psychological treatment, educational placement, medical choices, and extracurricular decisions for children.

 
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Collaboration

In collaboration, we put a team around the parents to help them settle the same parenting and financial issues.  It involves two attorneys, one child specialist and one or two coaches, and one financial neutral.  This can be a very costly process, but families have sustainable outcomes because they are making their own decisions for themselves and their children.

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Discernement Counseling

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Supervised Parenting Time

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Co-parent Training

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Parent Coaching

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Parenting Coordination

In Parenting Coordination, I am appointed as a non-confidential neutral to meet with parents on an ongoing basis to help settle post-divorce disputes.  If the parents can’t agree, the judges read my recommendations and often write Orders to solve the dispute, using information I provide to them from my ongoing work with the family.  Most of those parents have one or more personality disorders, but they can learn communication tools to parent much more effectively and to avoid conflict in the presence of the children.

 
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Dry Run Divorce

Finally, Dry Run Divorce is a process that helps spouses decide whether or not to divorce.  It is a time-limited process (often 6 to 12 months) that separates the family into separate homes while the parents pursue their decision. Most critically, as the emotions settle, the parents are deciding, on their own, what their “Bottom Line” is to stay in the marriage (e.g., substance abuse treatment, anger management, medication, etc.)  It incorporates the principles of mediation, collaborative law, discernment counseling, and psychology to create a safe space where they can reach mutual agreement on issues that divide the parents, and to reach a joint decision whether to divorce or to reconcile. Either spouse can terminate the mediated process at any time.  If the parents decide not to reconcile at the end of the process, they have all the paper work finished to enter the divorce in Court.

We as therapists need to protect children from the conflict and to help families save the financial and emotional toll that litigation takes.  Even many high conflict parents are succeeding in these alternatives to Court. Please contact me if you have questions about a specific referral.